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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Personal Assistant

from H​.​R. by Meljoann

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from H​.​R., released July 30, 2021
Personal Assistant, stand up
Put down your pencil and jack
Don't have to smile when you're attacked
You've got to get the sack
Get the sack
Let yourself see how much it sucks
Feel your Executive's shame
He need a dance but wants to trade
You know that bed wasn't made
By itself

If I have to be your secretary
All double-sided on your company stationary
Not gonna be your hero at the water cooler
If you're gonna set yourself up as our ruler
I can confirm you are the company stapler
You make attachment after attachment after attachment after

Personal Assistant, stand up
Put down your smartphone, let's jack
Don't be the chairman, be the mack
You gotta squeeze through the cracks
Through the cracks
Tell the boss to phone my ass
And charge my usual rate
We know it sucks, you have to wait
Because you don't get paid
By yourself

Down by the company machine is a plant
Plastic roots nudge past fake pellet soil to hunt
Artificial leaves open to the sun
Use your clipboard like a shield
Use your pen to wriggle through asbestos ceiling
Email that dream
Email that dream

Let yourself feel the pain
If we don't, may never feel again
There's some shit we were never meant to take
I'll say it again:
We, as humans, not supposed to take this

Personal Assistant, stand up
Discard that draft and let's jack
This wage-slave shit is getting wack
It may be time to pack
Time to pack

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